Let’s Rebrand Anger

Let’s rebrand anger. Anger has gotten a bad reputation, and I’ve seen big shifts happen for my clients when they realize anger is a feeling just like other feelings (sadness, fear, happiness). Usually these clients start with “I’m not an angry person,” to which I say anger is a feeling like any other. No feeling defines you, but they are a response to your environment. Embracing anger could open lots of doors in your life. 

Anger is one of my favorite things to talk about. Unlocking anger in therapy can be like unlocking a part of yourself that’s been away for a long time. 

Things to know

  1. Anger exists on a spectrum. Past a certain point, people get hurt. If you think of your levels of anger on a scale of 1-10, you might put that point at a 7 or 8. Levels 1 through 3 might feel like annoyance.

  2. Anger lets us know where our boundaries are, and when something is not ok. When we experience our anger and let it tell us what it needs to, you might have some boundaries to communicate with others

  3. It’s ok to walk away. When you get to those higher levels of anger, it might be better to take a break, bring the boil to a simmer before returning to a conversation.

  4. Anger doesn’t give you permission to hurt people.

  5. When we don’t know what to do with anger, we often misinterpret it as anger towards ourselves. This can morph into shame for many people, and therapy can help dissolve shame and put anger where it belongs in your life.

Like anything we talk about here, if it feels complicated and you need someone on your team to navigate anger, reach out to us to begin your therapy journey!

Authored by: Jessica Chavolla, LPC